Parenting Advice: Why One-Size-Fits-All Doesn’t Work

"This exact technique worked for Reshma's baby! Why can't it calm my baby down?" Pooja said at her wit's end. They have kids around the same age, and they read books together, share tips, and scroll through the same subreddits!

Pooja tried everything to make her Arjun sleep:

• Strict bedtime routines.

• No screen time before bed.

• Even some popular sleep training methods were all the rage in the parenting books they read.

But nothing seemed to work. But they worked for Reshma!

"They're all kids. How are some tips working for her baby but not mine?" she thought to herself. It was baffling at first, but then she realized that each kid was different and that no universal parenting advice fit all!

Like adults, children have unique personalities, moods, and needs. What worked well for Sharma ji ka beta may not work well for you! Well, children are humans. And humans are individuals with thoughts, values, dreams, goals, and experiences. Recognising and respecting these differences is what makes you a great parent!

Some children can finish their homework and chores by following a strict timetable they and their parents make. At the same time, other kids might be able to finish when it's left up to them. It's all about understanding your kid's individuality and playing to their strengths! And, of course, some kids wouldn't get anything done. And if you need help with that, check this out!

The one-size-fits-all approach sounds excellent! If it existed. It would make parenting so much easier! But parenting was never meant to be easy. And following that approach can lead to frustration and feelings of inadequacy when those rules don't yield the promised results. Here are some reasons why you shouldn't believe in universal parenting advice:

• Takes Away What's Special: Don't you think your kid is the best in the world? Then why would you treat them like any other generic kid? The one-size-fits-all advice often overlooks these differences.

• Creates Unrealistic Expectations: When you watch influencers boast about how tips and tricks helped their parenting journey, you might think this is the day your journey becomes more accessible. But hold your horses and think if it will work. Test it out, but don't force it on your child.

• Limits Flexibility: When you mainly follow general advice from other parents, you cannot adapt their strategies to better suit your child's unique and individual needs.

• Cultural Differences: The influencer you watch will have values and ideals they'd want to inculcate into their child, which might not be the same as yours. So, don't blindly follow what you read in a book or watch in a reel and think if it'll work in your context.

Every child is unique and recognising temperament differences will allow you to create a tailored approach to raising your child. You can consider your child's moods, personalities, likes and dislikes, temperament, and family dynamics to make sure you give your child the best!

So, let's take a closer look at why personalized parenting is so important!

• Promotes Individual Growth: When you recognize your child's unique personality and talents, you can set them up for their success!

• Forms That Parental Bond: When you understand and respect your child's specific needs, you understand them more and build an even deeper connection with them!

• Your Kid Feels Better: When you understand your kid better, they will feel heard and acknowledged, so they're more likely to listen to you instead of throwing a tantrum like an NPC kid whose parents are trying the most general techniques.

• Improves Your Problem-Solving Skills: When you adapt techniques to your child's needs, you improve your problem-solving skills!

Let's imagine you're Imtiaz Ali. You're reeling off the high that Rockstar (2011) was a mega-hit. It was probably the most prominent movie he'll ever make, but he wants more. He wants another massive movie and starts working on Cocktail. "I'm gonna make a movie just as good as Rockstar!" he says excitedly as he calls his trusty chief lighting technician and tells him to use the same lights as Rockstar, as it did so well.

It doesn't make sense, right? Each movie is different, and you have to choose the lighting that sets the right tone and mood for the movie you're trying to make. Copying another successful film isn't going to work.

Observe and Understand: Observe your child's behavior, preferences, and reactions and take some notes. This will help you understand their needs.

Improvise, Adapt, Overcome: Adapt your parenting strategies based on what works best for your child! Just because something worked for you and your mum swears by it doesn't mean it will work for your kid.

Communicate Openly: Be as honest as possible with your kid. Listen to their concerns when they're crying and throwing a tantrum, and ask them for their opinion when you make decisions.

Educate Yourself: Watch videos, read parenting books, and build up your arsenal so you can always try various techniques to see which one works!

Seek Support: Don't hesitate to consult your pediatricians. They're paid to do this and can provide individualized parenting guidance tailored to your child's needs.

No two parenting journeys are the same. No, it's not the same, even if you have twins. Or triplets. Remember to embrace your child's uniqueness to understand your child and make the most out of your parenting journey! Don't fall for the universal parenting advice and move away from the one-size-fits-all approach, tailoring your strategies to meet your child's needs. And in no time, you'll create a nurturing environment for you and your kids to grow in!