Men and Suicides: Understanding the Struggles

How many times have you heard the phrase, "real men don't cry", or "man up". Too many times, we're being asked to conform to what society thinks we should be, and it almost never works out well.

There seems to be a discrepancy between female and male suicide rates. The so-called "stronger gender" seems to end it more often than the "weaker one". The recent story of Atul Shubash has rocked our country and has brought back another demon to the surface that has been lurking under the shadows for a long time, waiting to be talked about: “Suicide and men”.

We all know, however unfortunately, some man who has chosen to end it all because it was becoming too much. From joblessness, failure in business to broken families, the list behind men ending their lives goes on.

In a country seeped by patriarchy, it does seem a bit ironic to victimise men. However, we all know a bit about something called "the white man's burden" thanks to Rudyard Kipling. An IIPS analysis showed that the rate of suicide among Indian men is 2.5 times that of Indian women. The institute referred to the 2023 National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) data compiled from 2014 to 2021. Adult men, irrespective of caste, religion, marital status, employment status, salary earned, topped the charts.

Even globally, men account for almost 75% of all suicides, according to a WHO study. In some countries, the suicide rate for men is three to four times higher than that for women. For example, in the United States, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that men die by suicide at a rate nearly four times higher than women.

There are a lot of factors that play a role here, so let's look at it one by one:

Cultural Expectations and Toxic Masculinity

If you're an Indian man, someone older would have given you some advice to be strong and stoic and to deal with problems by yourself. However, these cultural norms make it difficult for men to talk about what they go through, let alone seek help.

The list goes on and on, from helping with the family financially to finding a bride, landing a high-paying job, and ensuring their sisters get married to good men.

The pressure to meet societal expectations can lead to feelings of inadequacy, shame, depression, and isolation when men perceive themselves as failing. Ask any man if they've compared themselves to someone who's successful and felt negative about themselves, and you'd know that it's quite a common feeling. Men are taught from a young age that their worth is determined by how successful they are.

Mental Health Stigma Among Men

"Society, with its overwhelming patriarchal values, does not provide room for talks that show a man's vulnerability. The privilege men experience due to patriarchy will lead to higher gender expectations," says feminist thinker and writer Dr Rekha Raj.

Despite growing awareness about mental health, there is still a roadblock to seek help, particularly among men. Research has time and time again shown that men are less likely to seek professional help for mental health issues due to societal pressures and internalised beliefs about what masculinity is. Many men fear being perceived as weak or incapable if they admit to struggling.

However, there is an interesting statistic: "Most men seek professional help when a woman prompts them to do it," says Dr C J John, senior Consultant Psychiatrist at Medical Trust Hospital, Ernakulam.

Communication

Generally, women tend to communicate more than men, especially about how they feel. In fact, there was a recent study in the UK where they asked men if they've ever spoken to someone about their mental health. 40% of men said they have never.

A follow-up question was asked: Why? These were the answers:

• I've learnt to deal with it (40%)

• I don't want to be a burden to anyone (36%)

• I'm too embarrassed (29%)

• There's negative stigma around this type of thing (20%)

The Method

From a purely statistical point of view, men also tend to choose much more lethal ways than women to commit suicide. So, not only are there more men attempting to commit suicide, but they are also more likely to be more successful with it, which pushes the numbers for men up.

This blog post has been taking sombre turns since the start, so let's try peeking towards the light at the end of the tunnel. What can we do as a society to prevent these deaths?

Challenge the Cultural Norms

Do we need to redefine masculinity? It can mean a lot of things, but bottling up feelings and not being open about your trials and tribulations is not it. Public campaigns, educational programs, and media representation can play a critical role in shifting cultural attitudes.

Promoting Mental Health Awareness

Raising awareness about mental health in men and normalising help-seeking behaviour are crucial steps in preventing suicide. When people feel heard, it's the first step to a better life. Governments, non-profits, and workplaces can invest in mental health education and provide accessible resources, such as counselling services and peer support groups.

Expanding Access to Mental Health Services

Improving access to mental health care is vital for suicide prevention. Teletherapy, community mental health centres, and affordable treatment options can help bridge the gap for men who might otherwise avoid seeking professional help.

Addressing Substance Abuse

Substance abuse is a major risk factor for suicide among men. Providing education about the dangers of alcohol and drug use, as well as offering treatment programs for those struggling with addiction, can significantly reduce suicide risk.

Reducing Access to Lethal Means

Now, we aren't pointing fingers at any country, but restricting access to lethal means of suicide, such as firearms and certain medications, can save lives. Safety measures like gun locks, safe storage practices, and prescription monitoring programs can reduce impulsive suicide attempts.

Whether you look at male suicide rates as just a statistic or you genuinely feel for men in this patriarchal society, the problem isn't suicide. It's the end of systemic issues that plague men around the world.

Men should feel empowered to seek help and support as we take meaningful steps toward reducing the devastating toll of suicide. Be a man and go to therapy, speak out, and make it easier for other men to talk about what they're going through.

If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, it is important to seek help. Reach out to your best friend, family member, or mental health professional. Remember, help is available, and recovery is possible.