Navigating Grief and Loss with Support and Compassion

Over nine million people die in India every single year. The second most in the world. Losing a loved one and coping with grief can be extremely difficult, but it is also something that everyone must go through. Grief is one of the most universal human experiences that bind us together.

Grief is highly personal and could be evoked due to various things. Losing a loved one, a career-ending injury, ending a relationship, or any other massive loss. While everyone goes through grief differently, the emotions surrounding it, sadness, anger, confusion, and sometimes even guilt, could feel like a lot. We'll look at various approaches that can help with healing and guide you through grief, getting counseling, and finding meaning after suffering a loss.

Grief does not look the same for everyone as it manifests differently depending on what is going on in their life, their relationship with who they've lost, and how they usually cope with grief and pain.

Swiss-American psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross was the first to theorise the different stages of grief in her widely published book On Death and Dying ( 1969). She proposed a five-part model that identifies the different stages one goes through while grieving.

Denial—The initial shock can prevent you from accepting reality. It feels like the loss hasn't happened as your mind tries to protect itself from all the negative feelings.

Anger – When reality sets in, it's common to feel angry. You may direct it at yourself, others, or even at the situation itself, wondering how and why all this is happening.

Bargaining—At this stage, you would start thinking about what could have been done differently. It is common to think about how you could have prevented everything or changed the result.

Depression – As the weight of it all sinks in, you may start feeling really sad. This is usually the most intense and emotional phase, where you feel miserable and isolated.

Acceptance—Finally, acceptance doesn't mean you're 'over' the loss. Instead, it means you begin to live with it, moving into a new reality.

We know that there is no way to theorise a grave personal loss, and you might go through five hundred stages, and that is alright. It does not have to be linear and can look very different for everyone. There is no right or wrong way to overcome losing a loved one.

Grief can be an immensely overwhelming experience, but there are ways to overcome it and heal. We have tried to put together a few ways that could help.

Allow The Feelings to Come Out

At a time of immense loss, it's natural to want to keep all your emotions bottled up. It feels easier somehow to avoid facing our feelings. However, it is essential to be compassionate to yourself and realise that our emotions are not only valid but necessary at a time like this. We can take the first step toward healing by naming and acknowledging our feelings.

Ask For Help

Grief can be isolating, but you don't have to go through it alone. Talk about what you're going through. Seek out people who you trust and talk about your feelings. By letting others take care of you, you can start to cope with the feeling of overwhelm and stop feeling disconnected.

Sometimes, simply talking about the memories of the person you have lost or even being in the company of close ones can bring great comfort.

Going to Therapy or Support Groups

Professional help like grief counselling can really help if your grief feels like too much and living with your loss seems unbearable. Therapy can prove to be a respite and help you find a way to deal with grief.

Support groups can help you reconnect with people by learning to cope with a significant loss and find comfort through shared experiences. It also provides a safe space to share your thoughts and feelings. Expressing yourself around others who have also gone through and survived loss could be a powerful way of healing.

Take care of your physical health

While dealing with tragedy, it is easy to lose your grasp on the mundane tasks of daily life. Simple tasks like brushing your teeth or showering may feel too overwhelming. It is almost unfathomable to work on your physical health at such a time.

However, studies have shown that exercise causes our brains to release "feel-good" chemicals like endorphins and serotonin. Moving your body and engaging in physical activities will lift your spirits and help you disengage from negative thoughts.

Practising Mindfulness

Being mindful can help you live in the present. Mindfulness teaches us to be present in the moment. Allowing yourself to quietly reflect on your memories with your lost loved one can help you connect better with your feelings.

Meditation, deep breathing exercises, or journaling can all be great outlets as they encourage self-awareness, allowing you to engage with your grief without becoming consumed by it.

Take Your Time

Getting over a loved one's death doesn't happen overnight. Allow yourself the time and space to heal, and don't worry about how long it "should" take. There's no timeline for grief, and trying to rush through the process can lead to unresolved feelings. Show yourself some grace and know taking as long as needed is okay.

Many people who lose a loved one find ways to honour the person they lost or find meaning in the experience. This process can be personal and meaningful but may take some time and thought.

1. Redefining Purpose—After losing someone close to you, it's not uncommon to experience a shift in perspective and reflect on your purpose and meaning in life. Whether pursuing passions that bring you joy or engaging in meaningful work that aligns with your values, finding a sense of purpose could be incredibly healing and help you move forward.

2. Giving Back—Many who have experienced grief find solace in helping others, whether through volunteering, charitable work, or supporting causes that were important to the person they lost.

3. Creating a Legacy – You could honour your loved one by making a foundation in their memory, writing about their life, or even simply carrying on their traditions. Keeping their memory alive can serve as a source of inspiration and help to create meaning from the loss.

Coping with grief could be a slow and challenging journey and requires a lot of patience and compassion. It's a challenging experience that requires time, support, and self-care. You can overcome it by being kind to yourself, taking the time to reflect, and seeking help when you need it.

Moving forward does not essentially mean leaving something behind. You are not leaving their memories behind; instead, you are creating a new normal where what was lost becomes a part of you. As you cope with grief, remember that healing is possible, and with time, you will find peace and meaning once again.