The Truth About Parenting Phases – It’s Not Always Easy

Riya and Pooja sat in their rocking chairs with some Adrak chai in their hands as they watched the sun go down for the 1000th time. They did this every day. “I remember you laughed at me 40 years ago when our kids were toddlers because putting your Ajith to bed was so easy. And my Vijay? He didn’t know what sleep meant. He started his all-nighters early,” said Pooja with a tired smile as she sipped her chai. “Yeah, but your Ajith was too much to handle ten years later. I remember when you’d push him into the car for his tuition, and he’d just run out through the other door.” Riya said, laughing.

Neither Riya nor Pooja is alone in their experience with children. While the world tells us that kids become easier to manage after the first few years, this is not at all the truth. Problems change with time as children grow, and parents are always on their toes to mitigate them. So, if you are a new parent and waiting for the “achche din” of easier parenting to come, read on!

As kids grow, their moods, personalities, temperaments, likes, and dislikes all change. You might be able to put Chhota Bheem on your six-year-old, and they’d be in front of the TV for hours. But play the same episode once they’re 15, and they’ll look at you like you said Ronaldo is the GOAT.

So, let’s examine some of the simple ways parenting differs for each age group!

In your early years of parenting, it’s mostly being there physically for your kid. From constant crying to swaddling to changing poopy diapers, you have to get in and be there for your baby. You’ll have to note down and follow their feeding and pooping schedules and be on top of it! They’ll go through a lot, from crying for teething pains to laughing because they spilt some water.

During this time, you must focus on ensuring that your child’s basic needs are met: nutrition, sleep, safety, and cleanliness. You must proactively ensure your little ball of sunshine grows in a healthy and safe space.

Sounds scary, but don’t worry! You’ll be there to witness a lot of firsts! Their first smile, the first time they hold your little finger, their first steps, and most importantly, their first, tenth, and hundredth cry for food.

Once your little kid leaves the nest every day to venture to their new second home, it can be difficult for both of you. You might not need to run around as much, but you’ll have to be there for them emotionally and their cognitive development.

You’ll now have to juggle their schoolwork and after-school activities and ensure they don’t spend too much time playing lock and key with the area kids. The challenges evolve with stages, and the focus now moves to teaching a love of learning, developing social skills, and instilling essential values like empathy and individuality

Remember that your child might not be the cool one, and they could be bullied at school. Bullying, peer pressure, and the craving for feeling accepted are pretty common at this age. So, take note if your kid isn’t like their usual self, talk to them about their problems and try to get them to open up to you.

The pressure to become a doctor, lawyer, or government official can be an ongoing struggle for your kid. Academics are fundamental! But it’s not the end if your child fails a test or two. Strike a balance between their work and play so they don’t feel too burnt out. Teach them to work hard and play hard!

At this age, you’re not just a parent but a tutor, therapist, driver, cook, and cheerleader for your little one!

This is a weird age to be a parent because you want to give them their space but also have to keep a close watch on them. They might express their individualism and identity by using sea salt hairspray, wearing tattoo sleeves, or just getting a blue streak of hair.

Your kid might even start dating a kid you hate, so you must be prepared for anything! The rise of technology presents opportunities and risks for teens, so you must stay informed about their digital lives. The challenge is to provide guidance and establish rules while respecting your teen’s growing autonomy.

Communication is vital during this time. Your kid might be building a wall between the two of you, but it’s on you to break it down and ensure your teen sees you as their safe space so they can come to you if they’ve been dumped by their significant other or if their best friend has blocked them. Patience, empathy, and respect for their emerging identity are the three horsemen of creating a healthy parent-teen relationship.

Your little one is probably leaving the nest, ready to venture out into the world on their own through college. But just because they aren’t with you anymore doesn’t mean your parenting duties are no more.

They’ll pursue college, find jobs, and navigate adult relationships at this age. You’ll have to be there for emotional and sometimes financial support while allowing them independence. Letting go can be an adamant part of being a parent. You should trust your child’s decision-making skills and ability to be independent. You might feel lonely or even depressed when your child leaves you, and that’s okay! This is called empty nest syndrome, and it’s pretty standard!

The goal is to have a relationship based on mutual respect and understanding, recognizing your little young adult as an independent individual.

As your child gets older, so do you! Parenting challenges evolve with stages. Each stage brings its joys and challenges; while these challenges change, they don’t necessarily become more manageable. Hey, it was never meant to be easy. The parenting ease misconception is accurate, and we hope we’ve broken it now!

Your early parenting years will be physically demanding, and as they age, your parenting becomes more emotional and cognitive. And as your parenting involves giving them space as they get older, you’ll be forced to provide them with a lot of space afterwards. Recognise and embrace these changes and keep the focus on your child’s well-being. And when they write their autobiography, you’ll be given a shoutout in the preface!