Navigating Parenthood: Adoptive Parenting Tips

Adoption is a testament to the human capacity for love and compassion. Though many were averse to adoption, in recent years, it's almost preferred to go through pregnancy. With awareness and acceptance of adoption, many women have become more confident in their right to body autonomy. Pregnancy was once an inevitable thing for a woman. But now, it's a choice.

Adoption has come a great way in helping families with a myriad of issues that hinder them from procreating. It redefines family and is a shining example of nurture vs nature. It not only gives orphaned children parents, but also helps childless parents with children.

It's certainly a significant life decision that requires careful consideration and preparation. Here are some things to remember while preparing:

Intrapersonal Reflection

Before jumping straight into adopting a kid, leave some room for introspection. Ask yourself why you want to adopt. Is it a genuine desire to provide the basic necessities to a child along with unconditional love and care, or are there other underlying motivations?

Adoption can be emotionally challenging. So be honest with yourself about your capacity to handle the emotional ups and downs, including potential grief, loss, and the challenges of raising a child with a history that you never lived.

Parenting is a selfless act, and children are gifts. Are you willing to endure zero gratitude and still treat the child with the same respect and care you would expect for yourself?

Adoption can involve high financial costs, including legal fees, agency fees, travel expenses, and ongoing child-rearing expenses. Parenting in itself is expensive. As much as you have emotional space for a child, there must also be physical and financial space.

Preparing Your Home and Family

If it's a toddler you're adopting, then it's good to childproof your home. Take care of potential safety hazards and make your furniture and rooms child-friendly and accessible.

One of the many things that parents fail to do is prepare their children for the new addition to their families. So, If you have other children, prepare them for the arrival of a new sibling. Address their potential concerns and involve them in the adoption process as appropriate.

Now that you know you can adopt a child, it's time to choose an agency.

Domestic Adoption in India

• CARA Accreditation: Look out only for the agency accredited by CARA (Central Adoption Resource Authority) and adheres to all relevant regulations.

• Agency Reputation: Research the homes and orphanages in your city first accredited by CARA. Going through a reputable agency after looking at their track record and the experiences of other adoptive families who have worked with them is also a good idea.

• Open Communication: Choose an agency that maintains open and transparent communication throughout the adoption process.

• Agency Fees: Understand the agency's fee structure and make sure it is all on paper and reasonable.

International Adoption

• Hague Convention: If you're considering international adoption, ensure the country you are interested in is a signatory to the Hague Convention on Intercountry Adoption, which provides legal safeguards for international adoptions.

• Agency Specialisation: Choose an agency with specific expertise in international adoption to the country of your interest.

• Cultural Sensitivity: Select an agency that demonstrates cultural sensitivity and a commitment to respecting the child's cultural and ethnic background.

• Ethical Practices: Ensure the agency adheres to ethical and responsible adoption practices, prioritising the best interests of the child.

Domestic Adoption vs. International Adoption

Domestic adoption within India presents a unique set of considerations compared to international adoption.

Firstly, domestic adoption often involves a complex network of government agencies, child welfare organisations, and legal procedures within the Indian legal framework. This can include CARA guidelines, which outline eligibility criteria, procedures, and regulations for domestic adoption in India.

Secondly, adopting within India allows the children to maintain ties to their cultural heritage, language, and community, which can be crucial for their identity development.

However, it's not without its challenges. The number of children available for adoption within India can vary significantly, and the process can be time-consuming and emotionally demanding. Depending on your capabilities, it's wise to choose a method that fits you best.

Within domestic adoption, the arrangement generally falls into two broad categories: open and closed adoptions.

Closed adoptions involve minimal or no contact between the birth parents and the adoptive family after the adoption is finalised. This approach prioritises privacy and allows both parents to move forward with minimal emotional entanglement.

Open adoptions, on the other hand, involve varying degrees of contact and communication between the birth parents and the adoptive family. This can range from exchanging letters and photos to more frequent contact like scheduled phone calls or even in-person visits.

Open adoptions aim to provide the child with a sense of their origins and potentially maintain a connection with their birth family while also ensuring the child's well-being within the adoptive family.

The choice between open and closed adoption is very much a personal one and should be carefully considered. Factors like the birth parent's wishes, the child's age and developmental needs, and the adoptive family's comfort level with contact should all be taken into account before making a final decision.

Detailed Adoption Process Guide for New Parents

CARA, the statutory body under the Ministry of Women and Child Development, guides the Indian adoption process. Prospective Adoptive Parents (PAPs) must register with CARA through the Child Adoption Resource Information and Guidance System (CARINGS) online portal. This involves submitting detailed personal information, medical certificates, and proof of income.

Following registration, a thorough home study is conducted by a recognised adoption agency to assess the suitability of the prospective parents, aka you. This involves evaluating your home environment, motivations for adoption, and your understanding of the child's needs.

Once approved, PAPs are matched with children based on their preferences and the child's child-specific needs. This may involve reviewing profiles of available children and potentially interacting with them. After a successful match, the child is placed in pre-adoptive foster care with the prospective parents, allowing for a period of adjustment and bonding.

The final stage involves legal proceedings. The adoption agency files a petition in the relevant court, seeking legal approval for the adoption. Upon successfully completing the legal process, the court grants an adoption order, legally establishing the parent-child relationship.

Congratulations!

There are multiple legal mumbo-jumbo you need to learn about real quick. If you've been reading till now, you must already know the process is entrenched in legality, as it should be. There are also benefits to both you and your adopted child allocated by the government. Some of them are:

• Right to Custody and Guardianship: This is given, of course. Adoptive parents have the legal right to custody and guardianship of their adopted child, granting them the authority to make decisions regarding the child's upbringing, education, and well-being.

• Right to Inheritance: In most cases, adopted children have the right to inherit from their adoptive parents. It's still better to check with your lawyer and get a clear idea.

• Right to Protection: Adoptive parents have the right to protect their adopted child from abuse, neglect, and exploitation.

• Right to Seek Legal Assistance: Adoptive parents can seek legal counsel and representation in matters related to their adopted child's well-being.

There are still specific rights and responsibilities that may vary depending on individual circumstances and the specific adoption order. Once again, we advise you to go through the whole process with a lawyer in hand so you can protect both your rights and your adopted children's.

Adoption Tax Credits or Taxation Benefits

While India doesn't have a specific "Adoption Tax Credit" like the US, there are certain tax benefits available to adoptive parents. These benefits aim to offset the financial burden associated with the adoption process partially.

• Deductions under Section 80C of the Income Tax Act: This section allows for deductions on various investments and expenses, including certain educational expenses. While not directly an "adoption tax credit," it can provide some relief on expenses related to the child's education, such as tuition fees and student loans.

• Medical Expenses: Medical expenses incurred for the adopted child may be eligible for deductions under Section 80D of the Income Tax Act, subject to certain conditions and limits.

The emotional journey of adoption can also be psychologically demanding for both parents and children. Your reasons for adoption may vary, but as long as your motivations stay true and rooted in kindness, you are a good parent already. Some of the reasons that may require more external support are:

• Infertile Adoptive Parents: Infertility can be a heavy burden on the parent’s mind and heart. Seeking support from therapists, counsellors, or support groups can be invaluable for couples navigating both infertility and the adoption process.

• Post-Adoption Depression: A study says that it affects 10% to 32% of adoptive parents. However, post-adoption depression can affect both parents and children. Symptoms usually include anxiety, sadness, difficulty bonding, and feelings of inadequacy.

• Trauma-Informed Care: For children who have experienced trauma, seeking professional support from therapists specialising in trauma-informed care is important. As their new caretaker, it'll be part of your duties to give them a chance at healing from that trauma to live a fulfilling life.

We hope that we've covered everything that you sought to learn. Whether you're a couple or a single parent looking to adopt, the most important thing to ensure is that you are ready. Making sure you are in a place to welcome a new life and accommodate them is crucial as a parent.

It's not giving birth to a child that makes a parent. It is making choices that are hard but honest and ultimately putting the child's needs first for a significant amount of time.

Now the question is: Are you ready to be a parent?