Navigating the Challenges of Single Parenting

While the traditional image of a "nuclear family" might be prevalent in the West, India has always been about big, loud joint families. The family value is ingrained in how every child is taught to respect their elders unconditionally.

Both come with their own set of cons, but we're here to talk about neither. Single parenthood. It's a reality for millions across the globe. It's a journey filled with special joys and undeniable struggles.

You or someone you know might be facing the challenges of being a single parent for many reasons, with little to no clue about the next step. We're here to guide you through your expectations and fears to give your kid and yourself the happy, healthy life you deserve.

We are here to prove that you and your child can thrive in an unconventional family structure.

Single Parenthood, as the name suggests, refers to a situation where only one of the parents has to bring up the child.

According to reports, 8% of families worldwide have single parents. The worse thing is that 84% of these parents are mothers. It can result from multiple scenarios. A divorce or separation between the parents is, however, the most prevalent reason. Amongst other reasons, the death of a partner, childbirth without a partner, abandonment, and rape are also present.

However, one reason we do not talk about enough is the absence of the other parent. In the current situation of the global economy, it is becoming impossible to depend on only one bread-earner. Even then, when there is a child, one has to take up the responsibilities, and that is where the problem lies.

We have seen countless families where either the mother or the father has to work late shifts, and when they come back, they are veritably incapacitated to do any parenting. So, the responsibility of parenting is transferred to the other one.

We have grown up knowing that it takes a village to raise a child. Think how difficult it would be if that village is just one person!

Of course, research has never been enough for people to get over their ignorance. The idea that single-parent households are inherently broken still prevails, and it affects even the children as they might be ostracised in their social circles.

These stigmas towards the parent can manifest in various ways:

• Societal Expectations and Assumptions:

Single parents often face societal expectations that they will struggle to provide for their children financially, emotionally, and socially.

There's a prevalent assumption that children raised in single-parent households are more likely to experience academic, social, and emotional difficulties. These assumptions often stem from outdated stereotypes and lack evidence or proven studies.

• Gender Bias:

The stigma surrounding single parenthood often varies dramatically based on gender. Single mothers may face societal judgment regarding their perceived promiscuity, lack of responsibility, and financial instability.

They may also encounter challenges in balancing work and childcare responsibilities while navigating societal expectations of their role as both mothers and providers. On the other hand, single fathers may face scepticism regarding their parenting abilities, facing assumptions that they lack the emotional and nurturing qualities necessary for raising children.

They may also encounter societal pressure to conform to traditional gender roles and prove their competence as caregivers.

• The "Widow vs. Widower":

On the other end of the spectrum, there's a stark contrast in how society perceives widowed mothers and fathers.

Widowed mothers often receive greater societal sympathy and support and are often viewed as dedicated and selfless caregivers facing unexpected and tragic circumstances.

In contrast, widowed fathers may face assumptions about their ability to cope with grief and their suitability as primary caregivers. They may be expected to quickly "move on" and find a new partner to care for the child, while their emotional needs and challenges may be overlooked.

These stigmas can lead to feelings of isolation, shame, and inadequacy, impacting self-esteem and mental health. Moreover, these stigmas can create needless hurdles to accessing resources and support, as single parents may face discrimination in areas like housing, employment, and childcare.

Addressing the crux of the issue needs more nuance and understanding of the diverse realities of single-parent families.

Single parents in India have several crucial legal rights, though navigating them can be complex. The principle emphasising the "best interests of the child" is a cornerstone of most Indian family law.

Single mothers have the right to claim maintenance for themselves and their children from the child's father under provisions like Section 125 of the CrPC (Code of Criminal Procedure). This right ensures financial support for the child's upbringing and the mother's well-being.

Moreover, the Guardians and Wards Act of 1890 empowers single mothers and fathers to seek legal guardianship of their children, providing them with the necessary legal authority to make important decisions regarding their child's upbringing, education, and well-being.

With all this in mind, it's clear that navigating single parenthood can be incredibly challenging. That's why a strong support system is crucial for both emotional and practical well-being.

• Family and Friends: Lean on your loved ones for emotional support, childcare assistance, and practical advice.

• Support Groups: Connecting with other single parents through online support groups can provide a sense of community, shared experiences, and valuable advice.

• Community Resources: Utilise community resources like local libraries, parks, and recreational centres to provide enriching and engaging activities for your child.

Financial Aid -

• Government Schemes: Apart from the maintenance claim, there are government schemes like the Indira Gandhi Matritva Sahyog Yojana (IGMSY) that helps young mothers and the Pradhan Mantri Matru Vandana Yojana (PMMVY), which provides financial assistance to pregnant and lactating mothers.

• NGO Support: Several NGOs in India provide financial assistance, such as educational scholarships and emergency relief funds, to single-parent families.

SoulUp and Mother Concern are two distinct communities that provide resources and support groups for single parents. The growing Instagram communities focusing on Indian single parenthood are also great for those looking to share their experiences and personal tips.

Mental Health Support -

• Counselling Services: Seek professional counselling to address stress, anxiety, and any emotional challenges that are part and parcel of being a parent.

• Online Support Groups: Use online platforms and social media groups to connect with other single parents and access valuable resources. This is especially helpful for parents who don't have the time to meet face-to-face.

Childcare Support -

• Creches and Daycare Centers: A quick search gives you the most affordable childcare options like creches and daycare centres in your area. You can ensure your child's care all the while you work or attend to other responsibilities.

• Family and Friends: Be open and ask for help with the occasional childcare assistance.

Facing the challenges of single parenting is a unique experience. While it does come with its own set of obstacles, it also offers its own set of opportunities for growth, resilience, and the development of strong, independent individuals.

And yes, we're talking about both the parent and the child. By their existence alone, they're breaking so many stereotypes! We hope these individuals go on to change the defining characteristics of our societal norms and stretch them further to be more inclusive of every family structure.