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Good Girl Syndrome: What It Is and How to Overcome It

You have always been the nice girl, the obedient girl, the “good” girl. But what does it mean for you?
Shubhechhya Mukherjee
By
Shubhechhya Mukherjee
Good Girl Syndrome: What It Is and How to Overcome It

Introduction

After a lot of forethought and deliberation, I finally convinced myself to go get a tattoo. It was a rite of passage of sorts, albeit quite late into adulthood. I knew what I wanted and where I wanted it. I asked a friend to come along - we were going to make a day out of it.

However, the tattoo artist had different ideas. He told me I should definitely get a bigger tattoo—the size I wanted was way too small. The astonishing fact was that I was unable to say no. I tried, but he seemed to know better. Suddenly, I did not know if I knew what I wanted. A little voice in my head kept saying that I should not want to inconvenience him. All I could think about was it would be easier if I just went along with it.

It was only when my friend stepped in that I was aware of what was happening. She asked me clearly what I wanted and was stern with the tattoo artist. It was only then that I realised I was willing to permanently ink my body based on someone else’s wishes, just to avoid causing them any inconvenience.

The episode left me reeling. I knew I had a tendency to say yes to things, even when I wanted to say no, and this was something I was desperately trying to change. I felt frustrated with myself. It wasn't until later that I realised I needed to be more patient with myself. Unlearning years of "good" behaviour would take time, and I couldn't expect change to happen overnight. Self-awareness was the first step. I was determined to do better.