Parenting Burnout: Know the Signs and How to Navigate Them

Let me begin by referring to one of the best movies I watched growing up: Sex and the City (2008). If you’ve watched it, you may remember this particular moment in the movie when Charlotte, the ‘picture perfect’ stay-at-home mom, completely breaks down while baking cupcakes. She locks herself in a pantry, sobbing over a messy kitchen and screaming kids.

When she confesses her struggles to Miranda (her friend), she whispers the one thing many parents have felt but are too afraid to say out loud: “Sometimes, I don't like being a mom.”

That's parenting burnout right there, in a nutshell at least. It’s not just a plain exhaustion, it’s emotional breakdown, resentment, and guilt all rolled into one. It happens to moms and dads, single parents, adoptive parents or anyone juggling the endless demands of raising a child. And guess what? It’s totally NORMAL.

It is important to remember that parenting burnout occurs when parents experience an imbalance between the demands of parenting and the rewards they receive.

However, this is not something that happens overnight; it sneaks up on you slowly. The feeling piles up and suddenly is too much to bear, and you catch yourself -

• Snapping at your kids over the smallest things.

• Feeling emotionally distant, like you’re parenting on autopilot.

• Fantasising about running away for a while.

• Locking yourself in a pantry (classic Charlotte) or any room.

• Feeling guilty for wanting a break.

• Struggling to enjoy the moments you once loved.

• Increased addiction to alcohol or smoking.

• Feeling anxious or depressed.

• Sleep disorders or general irritability.

• Feeling a sense of loss of accomplishment when it comes to parenting.

Parenting has never been easy; it’s a task, and you need a healthy amount of mental stability, which isn’t always possible. And especially in today’s world, parenting feels heavier. Here are common reasons why it is the way it is -

1. Financial stress

Let’s face it, raising kids is EXPENSIVE in this economy. Between school fees, healthcare and groceries, parents often feel like they’re just trying to keep their heads above water.

When financial stress piles up, patience wears thin. A father taking up multiple jobs might feel disconnected from the family, while a mother drowning in budgeting worries might struggle to be emotionally present.

2. The “Perfect Parent” Myth

Social media makes the “Perfect Parent” myth worse. Do you know the drama of the Ace family? It showed us how social media is just a polished platform, and nothing is easy or a bed of roses.

Even on Instagram, you scroll past that “mom” who preps everything from scratch or gets organic snacks for her kids, has her kitchen spotless, and somehow still manages to smile.

Meanwhile, her kid may just want a pizza night instead of fancy cuisine (once again, Bree Van De Camp and her family), and the mother may not have even had a proper rest. The pressure to be everything and do everything is really tiresome and crushing.

3. Single and Adoptive parents

Single parents face an uphill battle, there's no one to tap in when they need a break. Whether it’s a single dad raising a teenager or a mother navigating parenthood solo, the exhaustion is real.

Adoptive parents, especially those from different cultural backgrounds like in Modern Family (2009), had their own set of challenges. An American gay couple raising a Vietnamese child. The show did an excellent job portraying how parenthood can be a rollercoaster ride.

It was challenging for them to make sure Lily stayed connected to her roots or Manny to his Columbian roots while balancing the experiences of the new American life. The emotional labor is heavy, and burnout is prone to happen.

4. Mothers and Fathers

Different burnout but same pain. Now, we’re heading more towards gender roles. Research has found that in addition to increased risk of mental health issues in children, burnout affects parents equally. "Mom burnout" is more common since women are the primary caregivers for children. However, fathers are also at risk for burnout.

In the case of mothers, they often experience emotional burnout because they’re the default parents. From cooking to doctor’s appointments to Parent teacher meetings, mom has to do it all (a literal Wonder Woman). But even after working full time with no holidays, society expects more out of them.

And on the other hand we have our fathers, they tend to experience pressure burnout, feeling like they must provide financially and be a strong role model, even if they’re struggling themselves. If they voice exhaustion, they’re told to “man up”.

The good news is you don't have to be stuck in the endless cycle of burnout. I am aware, taking care of your children and yourself while parenting is a lifelong endeavor. But by incorporating these steps, you can avoid parental burnout at least to some extent.

1. Take help

Although we share 95% of our genes with chimpanzees, who are known to raise their baby by themselves. We, the human parents, are more like other cooperatively parenting monkeys, such as baboons, that use support.

We require assistance and cannot accomplish things alone. If you don’t wish to have mental burnout, ask your partner or parents for help, even your in - laws.

2. Keeping a nanny

Our ancestors, they had everything sorted - used to hunt and look after the children. They had perfect arrangements if they went for food hunting they hired babysitters in the form of female relatives or let the children be with other family members if no personal help was available. Similarly, you could hire a nanny to ease your stress without guilt.

3. Take a break

It’s okay to step away, have a day out, take a massage or watch your favorite movie gulping a big spoonful of ice cream, however you prefer to do self care. But make sure you leave your kids in good hands. And no need to be guilty for having a little fun without kids, you are your own person too!

4. Redefine good parenting

Start off with resetting the understanding of good parenting. Who said a good parent has to be perfect in what they do? A good parent is someone who shows up and listens to their children, even on bad days. Focus on connection rather than perfection.

5. Join a support network

It’s not rare to feel this way and every parent may have gone through this at least once in their life. When you communicate and share your emotions with those who have been there it will make you feel lighter and more heard. You will be seen and acknowledged for your hardships. The support network becomes a reminder that you’re not alone and can face it just like others intend to.

6. Switch up parenting roles

Let the men be more emotionally available to children’s needs or share the mental load together. Make sure the responsibilities are balanced.

7. Tackle stress head on

I know financial strain just doesn't go away overnight but rather than being in an endless loop of worry try to make financial decisions more realistically, have a preplanned budget for every month or explore government programs if needed. If you feel the stress going out of your hand, try at-home yoga or going to a therapist; not everything can be quick and easy.

8. Sleep

People, do not underestimate the importance of sleep, if you are sleep deprived you will eventually have a moment where you blast and this is one of the top causes of parenting burnout.

It’s difficult to have a proper sleep schedule when you have toddlers or young children, but try to find a spot for at least 20-30 mins of power nap in between during the day.

Charlotte’s breakdown wasn’t just a TV moment; it’s real and can happen to anyone. On the bright side, she came to terms with it, and so will you! Parenting burnout doesn't mean you don't love your kids. It just means you’re human.

So give yourself some peace, ask for help and remember you’re doing better than you think.

How can single parents deal with burnout?

Single parents have higher risk of burnout because they don’t have a partner to share responsibilities. The key is to build a support system with friends, extended family members, community groups or even hiring a help. Small breaks and self care is crucial.

What if I feel guilty for needing a break?

Parental guilt is common, but taking breaks makes you a better person and a better parent. A burned parent struggles to be patient, present, or emotionally available. Taking time for yourself isn’t selfish but necessary.

What are the signs of parental burnout?

Signs may be different for every parent, but the most common ones are snapping at children for small things, feeling emotionally distant or irritated with the role of a parent sometimes, trying to escape reality but feeling guilty at the same time, mentally exhausted.

What are some ways I can prevent parental burnout?

Try to talk about your feelings with your partner or family member, get a nanny if possible and join community groups that can support you, get good sleep or practice some yoga.

When should I seek professional help for parenting burnout?

If burnout is affecting your daily life, making you feel constantly hopeless, or leading to resentment toward your child, seeking therapy or counseling can be beneficial. There’s no shame in getting support.